Motivation | Rose Keating Career Consulting

How To Make Better Career Decisions By Understanding Your Driving Force

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6 Universal Human Needs

Human Needs Psychology tells us that there are six universal human needs, and that all human behavior is motivated by the desire to meet one or more of these needs. The first four needs (Certainty, Variety, Significance, and Love/Connection) are the needs of the personality. We all meet these needs in one way or another. In fact, people will even go so far as to violate their values to meet those first four human needs. The last two needs (Growth and Contribution) are called the needs of the spirit. Not everyone gets these last two needs met. However, we need to meet those needs in order to feel truly fulfilled.

The Driving Force of Your Life

We all use different vehicles to meet our human needs, and we can do that in positive, neutral, or negative ways. We all favor, or value, two of the human needs more than the other four. The two that you favor determine the driving force in your life. Once you understand what your driving force is, you can begin to understand how you make critical decisions in your life, including decisions about your career or job.

Without further ado, here are the six human needs, along with examples of how to meet these needs in an empowering or disempowering way through your work.READ MORE

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Women Power

Phyllis, Tammy, Maureen, Angie, Ellen, Me, Elle, and Fawn – hot damn!

If you are stuck in your career and not sure what move to make next, spending time with women who inspire you can be an incredible source of support, guidance, and strength.

In August, I met with seven fellow women entrepreneurs for drinks and conversation in the Sea Port District of Boston. We have all recently taken part in Marie Forleo’s incredible B-school program. At the time of our get together, I had reached a point in my business where I was feeling stuck. So many questions were whizzing around my head: how can I make my business scalable, what step should I take next, and in what order? I was feeling so overwhelmed with all the decisions I was facing, I wasn’t making any moves at all.

That changed that Saturday afternoon. Being in the company of women who were experiencing a similar journey was exciting and calming at the same time. By talking to the ladies and hearing their stories, I realized it was ok to be in a place where I didn’t know what to do next. I began to understand that feeling stuck is an important part of the process. If I knew exactly what to do, I wouldn’t be learning, and in turn, I wouldn’t be growing as a person, a coach, and a businesswoman.

The gorgeous Elle explaining to us how she got 5000 facebook fans!

Tammy gave me great advice about creating a scalable business model, and Elle’s recent success on Facebook motivated me to work on my online presence. Fawn inspired me when told me she was a Mom. Here was a women who surely had more on her plate than I did, and she was making it happen! As I took the train home with Phyllis, I didn’t want to part ways when my stop came, I could have talked to her all afternoon.

Although I do coach some awesome men, 80% of the people I work with are women. There is a reason for this. I believe that when women support each other, we become unstoppable. I mean that in the truest sense of the word, nothing can stop us from achieving our dreams. Not other people, not our life circumstances, and most of all, not our own fears and limiting thoughts that can creep into our conscious and make us doubt what we are capable of.

When I work at the Cambridge Women’s Center I see this phenomenon in action. Women converse about their struggles, confide in each other, and ultimately find their own voice by learning from women who share similar life stories. At times I notice a women leaving the Center whose whole body language is more powerful than when she first arrived. She is holding her head a bit higher, and her facial expression is more relaxed.

One of the most profound things I ever read about women was an article by Emily Rapp, “Transformation and Transcendence: The Power of Female Friendships.” In it, she explains why female relationships are so important, and how we live in a society that tends to marginalize these types of relationships between women. Emily writes, “I saw, on that afternoon, that it’s possible to transcend the limits of your skin in a friendship. That a friend can take you out of the boxes you’ve made for yourself and burn them up. This kind of friendship is not a frivolous connection, a supplementary relationship to the ones we’re taught and told are primary – spouses, children, parents. It is love.”

Marisa, my sister from anotha motha

I thought of my best friend, Marisa, when I read it. The love I feel for her is equally strong to the love I feel for my family. I thought of my Mother, and her three best friends, Sue, Sue and Suzanne. Since I was a kid, I have watched each summer as the four of them fly in from all over the world to get together in Maine. I noticed how much their lives have changed over the past 20 years – more children, various jobs, struggles and triumphs. The one constant beyond the tide going in and out, is their love for each other.

That day in August with the B-school Babes meant more to me than I could communicate to the ladies. Even though it was the first time we met in person, I felt a strong sense of community and belonging. I had found my peeps. I left that day with a belly full of clam chowder, and a solid feeling that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. I had a renewed sense of energy, and I was ready to tackle the next business challenge, no matter what it was.

So to the amazing women I met with, I want to say Thank You. Thank you for listening, for sharing in my journey, and most of all, for inspiring me. You were a much needed gust of wind on the part of me that knows I can drive forward each day towards my goals.

If you are feeling stuck, either in your career, or any aspect of your life – your fellow sisters may be exactly what you need to summon the strength to push forward. You will see that they struggled like you, and that they also triumphed. But they didn’t do it alone. They did it with the love and support of their dearest female friends.

Seek out women who inspire you, and spend time with them. It could be your mother, aunt, sister, teacher, boss, or friend. It may be a celebrity, a businesswoman, or someone who died long ago. In their stories, you will see your own. And in their courage, you will find yours.

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Why Successful People Fail

Have you been successful so far in your career? If so, that is fantastic, but it could also mean that you are headed full force towards confusion and failure.

Ok that was bit dramatic. But in all seriousness, the statement is very true, thanks to a little devil called The Clarity Paradox.

I recently heard about this phenomenon, and being the paradox-loving psychology-nut that I am, I was intrigued. The basic premise of the clarity paradox is as follows:

1. True clarity of one’s goals brings success

2. Success results in more options and opportunities

3. More options & opportunities result in distraction & diffused efforts from the original goal

As efforts are spread more thinly, it erodes the clarity that led to the initial success. Put simply, success is a stimulus for failure.

As you paddle your way through the endless sea of career decisions, it is critical be very clear on want you want, what you value, and what your end goal is. You have to know where you want to end up in order to get there. Otherwise, you end up allowing people, events, or fears determine each move you make, and with that approach, you could end up literally anywhere!

As I reflected on the Clarity Paradox, I realized that I have recently been victim to this tricky little meister. I have clarity in my purpose, and my end goal to own a successful career coaching business. I want to help people, and create my ideal lifestyle at the same time.

Once my business was in full swing, I experienced some initial success. As a result, more options became available to me within the field of career coaching. I could go work for an outplacement firm, write a job hunting book, or even get a job at a local university in the career services department. I even had an option in totally unrelated field, and I was tempted to pursue it simply because it sounded interesting.

Over time, I started to focus on how I could get to the top of my field, and become a expert in career management. The clarity paradox had struck its maniacal wrench in my brain. I was distracted by all the possibilities, and had lost track of my real goal – to build a sustainable business that allows me to work on my own terms. When I stopped and thought about it, my goal is not to be at the top of my field (although it wouldn’t hurt). My goal is to run a successful career coaching business, and the actions that will take me there, are very different from the actions that will lead me to being a globally recognized expert in career management. I had to re-focus on what I truly wanted, and put everything aside.

So how can you avoid the clarity paradox as you build your career?

Here are 4 steps to keep you focused on the goals that actually matter to YOU.

1. When you are able to clarify your career goals, WRITE THEM DOWN, and post them on the wall in your office or bedroom so that you can see them every day. This will serve as a constant reminder of where your efforts should be focused.

2. Anytime you are considering a particular career option, ask yourself if the opportunity is going to hinder or help your progress towards reaching your career goals. You may be surprised that some options which initially appear to be in line with your goals, are actually not at all what you want. You have to be willing to turn down incredible opportunities so that you are available when the right ones do come along.

3. Conduct a pre-mortem. Most people wait until they have failed at something before they evaluate what went wrong. To conduct a pre-mortem, write down all the ways you could imagine yourself getting off track and losing focus of your goals. For each potential item, brainstorm what you can do to prevent that from happening. Example: I can imagine my parents could influence me and push me into pursuing work that I’m not thrilled about. Prevention plan: communicate with my parents and make sure they know exactly what my goals are. Each time I talk with them about career options, I will write in my journal and take time to reflect the direction they encouraged me to go in vs. the direction I have decided on.

4. For more ideas, check out the HBR Article: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. My favorite tactic listed for avoiding the clarity paradox is related to the endowment effect – which is our tendency to value something more once we own it. To apply this concept, when you are evaluating an opportunity, instead of asking yourself, How much do I value this opportunity? ask, If I didn’t have this opportunity, what would I be willing to sacrifice to get it?

It may seem like a lot of work, but this is the golden stuff that separates the successful from the mediocre.

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Wannabe / Employee: Believe You Can Succeed and You Will

I am thrilled and honored to have my first guest post on Kobie Snyman’s blog this week!

Kobie lives in South Africa, and her website wannabe/employee is all about inspiring young professionals to take charge of their careers, and be better (more engaged) employees tomorrow than the ones they are today. I love her advice because it is to-the-point, and easy to implement.

Check out her website and the guest post, Believe You Can Succeed and You Will, by clicking here.

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“Losers Wait For Motivation, Winners Just Get Shit Done,” says Marie Forleo

There are two types of people in the world, people who take action, and people who do not.

I know many women who are not happy in their current work situation, but struggle to take action to change their life. I will be the first to admit that it can be surprisingly hard to go home after a long boring day at the office, and start working to find a new job. It’s amazing how exhausting an entire day of boredom can be!

If you find yourself stuck in a job rut, unable to muster up the energy to start revising your resume and applying for jobs, here are 4 things you can do shake things up:

1. Exercise – for 20 minutes when you get out of work each day. It sounds counterintuitive to exercise when you are tired, but it will actually increase your energy level. Get those endorphins flowing for 20 minutes, and you will feel rejuvenated in a way that no cup of coffee can provide.

2. Take Action – stop talking, whining, and moping around, and simply do something, anything. No matter how small, choose one action that you know you can commit to each day, and stick to it. It could be that you will update one section of your resume each night, or that you will apply for one job each evening. If a whole job application doesn’t seem feasible, break it into smaller parts. On Monday research the company, on Tuesday target your resume to the job description, on Wednesday draft the cover letter, and so on. As one of my favorite ladies Marie Forleo says, “losers wait for motivation, winners just get shit done.”

3. Get Advice – call someone you know who is successful, and ask him or her for some advice about how to changes your habits, and get out of your rut. This could be a mentor, a parent, or a friend. Even the most wildly successful people have had times when they were bogged down into inertia, and sometimes it just takes a little encouragement to get started.

4. Get an Accountability Partner – enlist a friend, family member, or coach to be your accountability partner. Schedule a call with them once a week, and tell them what you are committed to accomplishing in the upcoming week. Each time you talk, report to them on your progress in accomplishing the past weeks goals, and tell them what your plan is for the next week. By simply writing down and sharing your goals, you subconsciously motivate yourself to do them.

When you are first starting to dig yourself out of the trenches, the size of the action doesn’t matter as much as the act itself. Decide on what level of action you can commit to, and prove to yourself that you are capable of following through by doing that one thing, no matter what.

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